We have all had conversations with people or experienced coaches or players who overreact or misreact to a situation because they haven’t taken the time to observe or listen to what is going on. The coach who punishes the wrong player, the boss who doesn’t listen to the employees involved in the conflict. Being able to make observations and then respond appropriately is a pivotal skill in developing exceptional leadership ability.

Here’s a few thoughts on how to observe and locate a situation:

1. Leave Your Assumptions At The Door:
Bringing in your own assumptions or ideas about a situation can blind you from seeing what is actually going on in a situation. If you have a bias towards a particular person, as a leader you must be able to keep that from entering in to your observation.

2. Ask Questions:
Asking questions can clarify a situation or response you don’t understand and gives the person or persons involved a chance to tell their side of the story.

3. Listen To The Answers To Your Questions:
Do not just ask questions to seem interested, but actually listen to the answers. Take notes on a piece of paper if it helps, use good listening skills and body language to show that you are taking the person seriously.

4. Rephrase Their Answer To Ensure An Accurate Observation:
After you have heard an answer, rephrase it in your own words, even by starting with “so what I hear you saying is…” and then proceed to restate what you’ve heard. This can prevent miscommunication and lets the persons know you are concerned.

5. Take Time To Respond:
After you have observed the situation and listened to the persons involved, if you are confident in the appropriate response, then share it with openness and honesty. But if you are not sure how to respond, take time to decide the appropriate response. Taking time does not display weakness, in reality, it reveals wisdom. A wisdom that you do not get caught up in the conflict or react without contemplation. Take time to make the right decision.

These steps can help in conflict situations or leadership experiences where one is expected to make an observation and respond with a solution.

Thoughts or suggestions? Share in the comment section.

All times Eastern

2009-10 College Football Bowl Schedule

New Mexico
Fresno State vs. Wyoming Albuquerque, N.M.
Dec. 19–4:30 p.m. ESPN

St. Petersburg
UCF vs. Rutgers St. Petersburg, Fla.
Dec. 19–8 p.m. ESPN

R+L Carriers New Orleans
Southern Miss vs. Middle Tennessee New Orleans
Dec. 20–8:30 p.m. ESPN

MAACO Las Vegas
Oregon State vs. BYU Las Vegas
Dec. 22–8 p.m. ESPN

S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia
Utah vs. Cal San Diego
Dec. 23–8 p.m. ESPN

Sheraton Hawaii
Nevada vs. SMU
Dec. 24–8 p.m. ESPN

Little Caesars
Marshall vs. Ohio
Dec. 26–1 p.m. ESPN

Meineke Car Care
Pitt vs. North Carolina
Dec. 26–4:30 p.m. ESPN

Emerald
Boston College vs. USC
Dec. 26–8 p.m. ESPN

Gaylord Hotels Music City
Kentucky vs. Clemson
Dec. 27–8:30 p.m. ESPN

AdvoCare V100 Independence
Texas A&M vs. Georgia
Dec. 28–5 p.m. ESPN2

EagleBank
Army or UCLA vs. Temple
Dec. 29–4:30 p.m. ESPN

Champs Sports
Miami vs. Wisconsin
Dec. 29–8 p.m. ESPN

Roady’s Humanitarian
Bowling Green vs. Idaho
Dec. 30–4:30 p.m. ESPN

Pacific Life Holiday
Arizona vs. Nebraska
Dec. 30–8 p.m. ESPN

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
Houston vs. Air Force
Dec. 31–Noon ESPN

Brut Sun
Oklahoma vs. Stanford
Dec. 31–2 p.m. CBS

Texas
Navy vs. Missouri
Dec. 31–3:30 p.m. ESPN

Insight
Minnesota vs. Iowa State
Dec. 31–6 p.m. NFL Network

Chick-fil-A
Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee
Dec. 31–7:30 p.m. ESPN

Outback
Northwestern vs. Auburn
Jan. 1–11 a.m. ESPN

Capital One
Penn State vs. LSU
Jan. 1–1 p.m. ABC

Konica Minolta Gator
West Virginia vs. Florida State
Jan. 1–1 p.m. CBS

Rose Bowl Game presented by Citi
Ohio State vs. Oregon
Jan. 1–4:30 p.m. ABC

Allstate Sugar
Florida vs. Cincinnati
Jan. 1–8:30 p.m. FOX

International
South Florida vs. Northern Illinois
Jan. 2–Noon ESPN2

Papajohns.com
South Carolina vs. UConn
Jan. 2–2 p.m. ESPN

AT&T Cotton
Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss
Jan. 2–2 p.m. FOX

AutoZone Liberty
Arkansas vs. East Carolina
Jan. 2–5:30 p.m. ESPN

Valero Alamo
Michigan State vs. Texas Tech
Jan. 2–9 p.m. ESPN

Tostitos Fiesta
Boise State vs. TCU
Jan. 4–8 p.m. FOX

FedEx Orange
Iowa vs. Georgia Tech
Jan. 5–8 p.m. FOX

GMAC
Central Michigan vs. Troy
Jan. 6–7 p.m. ESPN

Citi BCS National Championship Game
Texas vs. Alabama
Jan. 7–8 p.m. ABC

‘Tis the Season for some great Football!

Someone told me yesterday that the average person gains 5-8 lbs. over the holiday season. As I am continuing working on losing weight over the next year, I do not want to gain back the weight that I have worked hard to lose over the last few months. I’m hoping to simply ‘break even’ and consider that a success for the holidays.

So what are some ways that I (and you if you’re in my boat) can keep the holiday weight off? Here’s ten things I’m going to try:

1. Control My Portions:
Probably my biggest issue. I can enjoy more of the variety of holiday foods if I eat less of them in their portions. I have to get over my goal-oriented sense of eating and simply enjoy the food, but in smaller portions.

2. Lighten the Load:
Many of the holiday foods can be made with less sugar and fat. Here are some suggestions:
# Use fat-free chicken broth to baste the turkey and make gravy.
# Use sugar substitutes in place of sugar and/or fruit purees instead of oil in baked goods.
# Reduce oil and butter wherever you can.
# Try plain yogurt or fat-free sour cream in creamy dips, mashed potatoes, and casseroles.

3. Eat Breakfast:
I know this seems counter-productive, but having a little food in your stomach when the big meal comes helps one control their cravings better and keeps you from overeating. It also prevents your body from storing your Thanksgiving feast into more fat because you’re not eating on a consistent basis.

4. Save Your Seconds:
Try to eat everything you need and want in one helping and resist going back for seconds. Save them for leftovers the next day, when you can enjoy them more and feel like you’ve overeaten less.

5. Get Active:
Create a calorie deficit by exercising to burn off extra calories before you ever indulge in your favorite foods, suggests Connie Diekman, MEd, RD, former president of the American Dietetic Association (ADA). “‘Eat less and exercise more’ is the winning formula to prevent weight gain during the holidays,” Diekman says. “Increase your steps or lengthen your fitness routine the weeks ahead and especially the day of the feast.

6. Slowly Savor:
Eating slowly, putting your fork down between bites, and tasting each mouthful is one of the easiest ways to enjoy your meal and feel satisfied with one plate full of food, experts say. Choosing whole grains, fruits, vegetables, broth-based soups, salads, and other foods with lots of water and fiber add to the feeling of fullness.

7. Spread out the food and fun all day long:
Rather than eating all of the food in one hour, enjoy your meal throughout the day. Take a walk in between the meal and dessert, put out appetizers before the main meal, you will be able to enjoy the food over a longer period of time and keep curb your appetite more effectively.

8. Be Realistic:
Switch from a mindset of ‘weight loss’ to ‘weight maintenance’ over the holiday season.

9. Focus on the Holiday Foods:
Save room (and calories) for the foods that only come around once a year! Don’t waste tons of calories and space on foods that you can eat any time of the year.

10. Focus on Family and Friends:
While the food of the holidays is tough to beat, the real focus during this holiday season should be on people. Spend time with family and friends, give to the poor and the hungry, and remind yourself that its about so much more than great food.

Good luck in your battle! Happy Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow, Oregon and Arizona are playing in the same dirt! They’re each trying to grow their own garden of fresh roses, hoping to earn the right to play Ohio State in the prestigious ‘Grand-Daddy of Them All’: The Rose Bowl.

The Rose Bowl, part of the BCS bowl series, is in the sights of both Arizona and Oregon and tomorrow night’s game could potentially determine the Pac-10′s representative. Amid the mess that is the Pac-10 conference, only Oregon and Arizona control their destinies.

Jeremiah Masoli, quarterback for the Oregon Ducks, has been gardening for roses the entire year. His glimpses of greatness last year were colored by his lackluster performances, particularly their season opener against Boise State. Masoli has ‘found his niche’ in the on-slaught attack of the spread offense created by head coach Chip Kelly. His ability to run the ball is well complemented by his ability to get the ball into the hands of quick and agile running backs and receivers. He has been more consistent and made good decisions with the football. In an article over at ESPN, Coach Kelly comments, “Early this season, he tried to take a lot of the load on himself. Now he realizes that we’ve got some weapons around him,” Ducks coach Chip Kelly said. “He’s got a better understanding of managing the game and not forcing issues. Just kind of letting things come to him. He made some really smart plays on Saturday [against Arizona State] just throwing the ball away in the red zone.”

A leader’s ability to not force issues and try and take too much of a load on themselves is an important concept to highlight. Many leaders feel an inaccurate burden that they have to ‘do it all themselves’. And, in a culture where a person has to create their own destiny, often we overwork and overburden ourselves into isolating ourselves from others. A good leader understands that part of their role is to allow the talented people around them to do their part, fill their role. When Masoli was willing to allow other players to make plays, it opened up a vast array of attack possibilities for the Oregon Ducks, make their offense arguably the most explosive in the nation.

Masoli and the Ducks will do well on Saturday if Masoli continue this trend and allows other playmakers to make plays. Leaders, in turn, will find greater success when they allow the talented men and women around them to share leadership, responsibility and success.

As I attempt to make this ‘comeback’ I think its important to reflect on some of the greatest comeback qbs and what made them so great at comebacks. Interestingly enough, the great quarterbacks, are also the great ‘comeback’ quarterbacks. There is a direct link between their ‘greatness’ and their ability to launch comebacks, to bring their teams from behind when no one thinks its possible, to have the poise and concentration in the face of defeat, and to come out on top.

In light of the Patriots/Colts game this past Sunday, when Peyton Manning brought his team back from 10 points down in the fourth quarter to win the game with only a few seconds left, what is it that Manning, Favre and others do that make them so successful in comebacks?

1.They Believe: No comeback can be launched unless the person’s involved ‘believe’ that they can acheive victory. This belief must be based on a personal confidence and desire to overcome the fear of defeat to replace it with the triumph of victory.

2. They Inspire: The belief that a comeback can be accomplished must be a shared vision between players. Manning, Montana and other comeback greats can look their teammates in the eyes in the huddle, tell them that they’re going to win, and the other players believe them.

3. They Perform: Perform in the sense that, when the chips are down and the comeback is on the line, the comeback kid has the experience and skill to make the play that needs to be made.

4. They Rejoice: Comebacks are worth being celebrated. Everyone loves a come from behind victory (except for Bill Bellichek) and when the clock strikes 0 and the comeback victory has happened, the dream and belief that started in the beginning of those comeback moments, those victories must be celebrated!

So here’s a brief snapshot of some of the top posts from the last year. A highlight of thoughts that reflect our first ‘season’ in the blogosphere. Thanks for supporting the EverydayQB!

-Preparation and consistency are pivotal and crucial in helping you and your team be successful. Identify your every day drills and focus on perfecting them in your life.-The Power of Consistency

-“Having a team that can put personal needs or disagreements aside is important in being a successful team. Personally and professionally, encouraging others to come together as a team can go a long ways in helping your ‘team’ be successful.”-Coming Together When It Counts

-Leaders have the responsibility to look out for and help those that cannot look after themselves or who are suffering persecution at the hands of an oppressor.-A Leaders Responsibility

-”Don’t let an opponent or outside force determine how you will live life. Find out what gives you passion and pursue it.”-Remembering Your Passion

-”how the coach and quarterback interact and operate is pivotal to a team’s success. So what are the two most important components of a quarterback/coach relationship? Its simple: Trust and Respect.”-A Quarterback and His Coach

-”Often times in our lives, there are certain things that are bearing down on us, that strike fear and anxiety into our hearts. So often I find myself just trying to get out of the way as that fear comes at me, or ignoring it so that I don’t have to face it...but the fear that I thought was chasing me, that I thought would destroy me, actually has no power over me.”-Facing the Fears of Life Head On

1. Discipline: To be an exceptional athlete, you must be disciplined. You must commit to training your mind, body and heart to a focused and concentrated effort. The discipline of an athlete does not take place over night, but is developed over years of practicing his/her craft.

Translation to the business world: Employers expect their employees to be punctual people with integrity and honesty. Good employees follow rules and work diligently to accomplish the tasks they are given.

2. Teamwork: Must sports have some sort of team element to them. Even in track and field or swimming, there are relays and team points that include a team as a whole in competition. Athletes learn the importance of others having success around them. They learn how to empower and encourage others to succeed so that the can succeed.

Translation to the business world: No great business was ever built by one person. Even Donald Trump needed other people supporting him to get him where he is today.

3. Competition: Good athletes know how to compete. Good athletes love to compete. Good athletes thrive on competition, the exhilaration of a challenge and the feel of performing under pressure and coming out on top. Athletes learn how to win and to lose with grace and character.

Translation to the business world: Our society is built on a competitive business model. Being able to outwork and out-innovative the competing business is crucial to a companies survival in our market.

In conclusion, athletes have the ‘opportunity’ to develop these important skills of discipline, teamwork and competition, in their athletic fields. However, not all athletes develop these skills. As such, it is difficult to say with certainty that ‘all athletes make better employees than non-athletes’. Certainly men and women can develop these important business skills outside of the athletic world. However, an exceptional athlete who has developed these skills will have a profound and positive affect on any business because they have learned these skills in the world of sports.

We’d love to hear what you think. Let us know in the comments section.

Don’t forget! Today is the last day to email (ryan@salemec.com) with your thoughts on leadership, sports and the game of football to enter to win a free NFL jersey of your choice.

John Elway: The number one draft pick in 1983, Elway was a tenacious competitor. He was never out of any football game, holding the NFL record with 40 career fourth quarter comeback wins. Above all, Elway was a great at making the players around him better. He was able to carry the Denver Broncos, making it possible for them to have the success that they did.

Elway says, “I’ve always joked about Joe Montana not appreciating his Super Bowls nearly as much as I do because he never lost one. We lost three before we got one.”

Joe Montana: One of Montana’s greatest strengths was being in the right place at the right time. Montana was able to execute a system from a brilliant coach in Bill Walsh. Montana knew how to manage a football game and was able to inspire his teammates to play hard and had amazing success.

Montana says, “Winners, I am convinced, imagine their dreams first. They want it with all their heart and expect it to come true. There is, I believe, no other way to live.”

Johnny Unitas: Even guys like Montana and Elway get shivers when they hear the name, Unitas. Unitas led the Colts to the 1958 and 1959 NFL championships and was named All-NFL for five seasons including three Player of the Year awards.Unitas also won three MVP trophies and was selected to play in 10 Pro Bowls. His lasting legacy and contagious charisma make him one of the wisest and most respected players in the game of football.

Unitas says, “There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.”

Peyton Manning: Peyton Manning is perhaps the hardest working quarterback ever. Manning puts in more hours and more work and is more prepared for a game on Sunday than most quarterbacks ever. He has a presence and intelligence that inspires confidence in his teammates. He is able to lead a football game, taking advantage of defenses and what they do and getting the ball into the hands of people who can make plays.

Manning says, “You hear about how many fourth quarter comebacks that a guy has and I think it means a guy screwed up in the first three quarters.”

Who’s your favorite quarterback and why? Let us know!

Life has a way of keeping us humble.

A few weeks ago I had a chance to relive some of my old sports memories. Initially all I could think of was the importance pass I missed here, or the bad game I had there. But the person with me forced me to work past those and remember some of the successes and great moments I had as an athlete. I began to realize something. Those failures and mistakes were important to learn from, but they were not the whole story. Behind the ugly faces of those disappointing games and mistakes was a beautiful picture of successful career as an athlete. And it wasn’t about all the stats or the scores or the awards, it was about the memories with teammates, the road trips, the quirky plays and the great feelings that came from playing a game that I loved.

When I took the time to wade through the pain that is always present when we first revisit memories of mistakes or failures, when I made the effort to remember the whole story, I realized that my experience was so much more than those brief moments of failure and that those weren’t the only moments that had to define my future.

So often we wind up repressing good memories with the bad, losing a beautiful picture of a career or experience.

The challenge, then, is to work past the failures and mistakes, not negating or forgetting them, but seeking to remember the victories and successes as well, breeding a wholeness and confidence that was has been accomplished is worth being proud of.

Each one of us has a degree of power

So what then, is the proper use of power? Are we doomed to be corrupted by it? In the words of Lord Action, does “Power tend to corrupt, and absolute power corrupt absolutely? Are great men almost always bad men?” Is there a way in which power can be used to do good without corrupting those who use it?

I would suggest that there is a method for which power can be used without corruption or misuse: power must be given away. If power is invested, spent, given to others to in turn, empower them, power can be a positive thing. Those given the power away do not lost their power. In truth, their power is strengthened and enhanced. The role of a coach, a teacher, a mentor, a leader, is to invest and share their earned or inherent power to shape and grow those they have power over.

Coaches can either use their position of power to massage an ego, or, they can use their position of power to shape and mold young women and men who are healthy and powerful themselves.

Bosses or managers in the work place have the same choice. Will they use their power for personal gain and self-inflation? Or, create a workplace where people are thriving and growing because the power that is given to the leader is being invested and shared in the team within which they are working?

The choice is present in any situation. What will I do with the power given to me?

Second, we must nullify the myth that power only exists within a select few. This is simply not true. Though there may be levels of power, when I as a player decide to take my power of choice and cooperation and submit it to the power of my coach, an amazing opportunity for success can occur. When I place my power of trust into the hands of another and they, in turn, value and protect that power I have given them, a bond and relationship is forged which is strong and difficult to break.

We each have power. What will you do with yours?